MIA?

So I do realize that I have been totally MIA from the blog scene for quite sometime now... But I am hoping to turn that around. I have been in deep thought about my life lately since recently I feel totally and completely unorganized and unfortunately stagnant. I have been contemplating those things that I do well and those things that I could improve. Unfortunately, my "improvement" list outweighs my "doing well" list by far... I have always been horrible at keeping a journal and I can't quite bring myself to sit down and write just yet, so I feel like if I pick blogging back up it will be a nice segway into "real" journal writing. And.... since I don't talk to my family much these days because someone with two little babies is occupying all of their time, they can just catch up with life via amythecougar...

These past couple of days have been totally exhausting and I am not 100% sure why, but I am pretty sure that I looked really sexy at church today so that made up for a little bit of my anxiety. Anyways...
My life these days is predominantly taken over by nursing school, which is miserable, but I just keep telling myself it is going to be worth it. I read constantly and I am never finished and no matter how much I read and no matter how study my teacher has still managed to tell me that she is going to slap me twice. I get up at 4:30 on Thursdays and head to Salt lake to work in the U of U hospital. I love the hospital. So much better than the nursing home and U of U is incredible. I think it's safe to say that when I am there I feel pretty legit, but it is also equally safe to say that I am scared out of my mind. This past week I was in the nuero unit and I watched a guy have a seizure and the week before that I watched colonoscopies and bronchoscopies all day long and got to put in an IV... Way cool. You may think I am kidding, but I am not at all. This next week I actaully take care of a patient all by myself so lets all cross our fingers that I don't kill anyone.

Gosh. Writing in a journal is so hard... I have no clue what to say.

One thing is for sure. Evertime I leave the hospital I am so grateful that I am happy and healthy... for the most part. I can handle a little acne and little bit of pudge around my midsection. I see some cards that people are dealt and it is so sad. I see families that have to go through these horrible sicknesses and diseases and it is so horrible. I am so excited to be a nurse to help these people and to serve these people and to hopefully make their experience in the hospital just that much better.

Well Spencer just got here... Yes he is back in the picture. So I would really appreciate it if we keep this a judge free zone and just accept that I am happy. Love my family. Love my life.

p.s. "Dear mom and dad please send money. I'm so broke that it ain't funny. Don't need much just a little to get me by..."